im still alive, dont worry.

wow i have been seriously neglecting this thing.

a lot has happened, i guess. i finally landed my lutz, again, but who knows how long that'll last. i had two lessons with chris :]]]] i can't deny it, he's gooooood. but i still love sarah. she's still my coach. MY MOMMY GOT ME A NEW DRESS!!! ahhh! i'm so excited! its so freakin cute!! it's bright pink and orange! ahhhh omgsh i love it! I ordered my competition dresses online, too! they're both really cute, i love them!!!!!! im soooo excited to get them!!! :D :D :D i started my compulsary (program w/ no music) and idk what to think about it. i really hate the fact that it can only take up half of the rink. that really bothers me. i feel like i have no room to do anything. but hey, i didn't like my program at first, either, so maybe i'll grow to love it.

alright, im rambling about skating again. back to reality. homecoming is today. i dont feel like going, but i know ill have fun when i do. yesterday was the homecoming game, and the first on i marched. my god. i screwed up sooo soooo sooooo soooo soooo soo soooooo BADLY. i was in the wrong spot for the first half, and then i got in the wrong spot again, and they had to like stop and put me in the right place. my god. i wanted to cry. i screwed up so effing bad. ughhhhh. and it's important i make a good impression on these people, because its hard for me to make friends in band and i feel like im annoying them all by coming late. but before that, i had a reallllllyyyy fun time (we marched at the end of the game) so i guess it's okay. haha morgan and haley are apparently going to make me talk at skating. haha that was funny. haley is hilarious. we were like slap happy the entire time. oh wow. brittany is now my bitch! HAHAHAHA "it's a flute, dumbass!" oh man i love her. and me and mandy are going to be the next american idols! oh wow. i love those girls.

alright, hmm what now? i think i covered everything? OH WAIT. i hate mr. richards. she is evil. im failing her class i can garuntee you.

now im done.

check it later.

normality sets back in.

so i went skating yeserday. i was okay but during the third session, something just clicked, and all of a sudden i was nailing everything, and had so much energy that it seemed like the session was over much faster. now, idk if it's the tylenol i took beforehand, but whatever it was, i can now skate again! :D :D :D this makes me very happy, espacially since i have a lesson with chris, who was my coach for like 7 or 8 years before i stopped, on friday! yessss !

subject change. boysssss! i still kindasorta like the guy i said ive liked for 3 1/2 years, but ive moved on to better boys! (ones that actually notice me, btw.) i think i may actually have a chance with this one :]]]]

ouch.

i rammed myself into the wall during skating. completely accidental, i swear. i'm not that moronic. needless to say, im really really sore, but i had so much fun tonight it was worth it. sarah added arms to my program, so now all i have to do is get it down, and then itll look good because ill be able to get into it more. my first competition will be on november 9, 10, or 11th, but idk exactly yet. apparently im doing another program, too, but without music. i really dont want to. i just want to focus on one. ahh. oh well, that's okay. ill deal with it.

ok check it later, homework time.

hello again!

not much time to write now. ihave skating :]]]]]]]] i love skating. im in band again. oh man, do i suck. i have not touched my flute all summer, and now im playing all these songs ahhahaha. good thing you cant hear me :P anyway, skating. i re-did pretty much my entire routind. well, sarah did, but whatever. its easier, and i love it. i CAN NOT WAIT until the 22nd so i can get my club jacket. i'll be living in that thing, i swear. i love skating!

hm, nothing else new besides band. OH! im going to homecoming with elli. i got a dress, it's silver. alright, i have the hiccups, homework, and im hungry. soo....

check it later.

lazy day afternoon.

lizzy didn't end up coming over. whatever. don't get me started. so i'm callig elli as we speak. nevermind. voicemail. whatever. maybe lizzy will call me soon. but she really doesn't have that much time, it's a school night. whatever.

so i talked to my crush today (there's no way in hell i'm posting it for the whole world to see) the conversations are slowly becoming easier. with only a few pauses (including me freaking out over what to say) i'm DETERMINED to get him to ask me to homecoming. as soon as we get close enough, i'm going to flirt my butt off. ahhh whatever.

i don't feel like blogging.
check it later.

okay, wow.

i was very upset yesterday! reading it just makes me depressed! i obviously feel much better today. that was just me venting, let me clear that up right now. ahh. it's muchhhhhh better today. i felt like i needed to state that.

check it later.

the first saturday of the rest of my life.

so i went to see hairspray with jocelyn tonight. hairspray was awesome. the ride home was not. my mom started asking jocelyn about band and then she started it. "oh katie! i should have made you stay in band! i should have made you!" my response "there would be no time for skating, mom." "oh but you were so GOOD at the flute!" me:"i'm good at skating too, mom." "but it was such a thrill to see you in the band! now you'll never dot the i at ohio state." UGHHHHHH. she's never just accepted the fact that I WANT TO SKATE. she's never supported it, but she just won't admit it. you wanna know why i showed up to skating, TWICE, crying? HER. skating is so important to me that at my first test, you could literally see me shake i was so nervous. you know, most people look up to their parents, not me. my role models are sarah, my coach, and christine, my dance teacher. that's pretty sad. especially since i can't tell my mom ANYTHING. she'll either cry, say it's not true, or scream at me. lizzy keeps telling me things will get better, but all they've done is gotten worse. i can't stand it.

and now jocelyn has a date to homecoming. with a jumior. lizzy's always had brandon. i've liked the same guy for 3 years and he barely knows i exsist. my mom doesn't even want me dating. don't get me wrong, i amd seriously happy for both lizzy and jocelyn, but it just makes me really jealous. and my mom, she talks about jocelyn like she's her daughter. "you now, jocelyn's a pretty girl. and she's in the band. i'm telling you katie, she'll be homecoming queen when she's a senior." gee thanks. great to know. i mean, i definitely think she's gorgeous, but to hear that from my mom who always tells me "you have a bit of a stomach, katie" it just really sucks. ughhh. today has not been a good day.