the first saturday of the rest of my life.

so i went to see hairspray with jocelyn tonight. hairspray was awesome. the ride home was not. my mom started asking jocelyn about band and then she started it. "oh katie! i should have made you stay in band! i should have made you!" my response "there would be no time for skating, mom." "oh but you were so GOOD at the flute!" me:"i'm good at skating too, mom." "but it was such a thrill to see you in the band! now you'll never dot the i at ohio state." UGHHHHHH. she's never just accepted the fact that I WANT TO SKATE. she's never supported it, but she just won't admit it. you wanna know why i showed up to skating, TWICE, crying? HER. skating is so important to me that at my first test, you could literally see me shake i was so nervous. you know, most people look up to their parents, not me. my role models are sarah, my coach, and christine, my dance teacher. that's pretty sad. especially since i can't tell my mom ANYTHING. she'll either cry, say it's not true, or scream at me. lizzy keeps telling me things will get better, but all they've done is gotten worse. i can't stand it.

and now jocelyn has a date to homecoming. with a jumior. lizzy's always had brandon. i've liked the same guy for 3 years and he barely knows i exsist. my mom doesn't even want me dating. don't get me wrong, i amd seriously happy for both lizzy and jocelyn, but it just makes me really jealous. and my mom, she talks about jocelyn like she's her daughter. "you now, jocelyn's a pretty girl. and she's in the band. i'm telling you katie, she'll be homecoming queen when she's a senior." gee thanks. great to know. i mean, i definitely think she's gorgeous, but to hear that from my mom who always tells me "you have a bit of a stomach, katie" it just really sucks. ughhh. today has not been a good day.